Have you ever hated your job soooo much? So much that you would rather stab yourself and make up a story about being jumped instead of going into work?  Yeah, we never even considered that either. That wasn't the case for 29-year-old Aaron Seibers from Edgewater, CO. Good ole' Aaron decided that this would be the perfect excuse to get out of work. Unfortunately for Aaron, there were surveillance cameras in the area he claimed to be jumped, which showed no activity of the sort.  Eventually Aaron broke down and confessed he was just a complete fucking idiot kidding.

So, what job is so terrifying, so hideous, that you would go to this extreme rather than punch that time card? Blockbuster. Blockbuster, people. Where you sit behind a desk and watch movies all day and occasionally have to *gasp* put shit in alphabetical order. Not quite stab-worthy really, but it certainly got us thinking... what would be the top ten jobs we would rather stab ourselves than go to?

1. Rosie O'Donnell's Gynecologist

Fuck that, seriously, would never want any fucking part of that. Imagine the pork chops and Twinkies you would find up there.

2.  Spooge Collector at a JO house

We don't think we really need to explain anything as to why this job would suck ass. But, if you're into mopping your way out of sticky situations, this job is for you!

3.  Murder Scene Cleaner

Blood, guts, cleaning supplies, and the lingering stench of death. We'll just save those sensations for our next visit to a nursing home.

4.  Flatulence Analyst

Smelling other people's farts is actually a job. And it's definitely one we would rather stab ourselves than go to.

5. Cat Food Quality Controller

Gross. This would have to be the foulest thing ever. Think about the spouse of that person. We think we'd rather stab ourselves than come home to that. Wait. They're probably all cat ladies anyway, and we all know cat ladies are single for life.

6. Hemorrhoid Surgeon

Although the pay is good, knifing around in someone's rectum doesn't sound like a pleasant job. We're almost certain that after one session, we'd turn that knife on ourselves (we'd get a fresh, sterile knife... of course.)

7. Cavity Search Prison Guard

It's a well known fact that the prison guards who perform cavity searches were once aspiring hemorrhoid surgeons. A job where you're paid to perform anal invasions on convicted criminals. No thanks.

8. Elephant Feces Collector

Dumps the size of shoeboxes squirting towards your face, not really our idea of a good day on the job. Elephants have an amazing memory too. This means they'll never forget the day they took a giant steaming shit on your head.

9. Disney Mascot

All those kids smelling like piss and vomit running up to you wanting to give you a big hug. Or walking up to kids and having them scream until their nose bleeds. Or just walking around in the summer, in Orlando, FL, covered in fur.  All of those things make this a job we'd rather stab ourselves than go to.

10. Working for TIFR

Nuff said. (Notice the lotion by the computer... because you can't have dry skin, right?)