33-year-old Kentucky resident Larry Long. But why him, and how can we make a decision this early in 2010? Well, here's why: after finishing his shift at a restaurant, Larry came home and decided that he wanted to get stoned and guzzle a little of the Jim Beam with his baby mama. After four of five shots she decides to go to bed, while Larry decides to continue exercising life's demons, and polishes off the the fifth. The next morning, baby mama wakes to the sound of her 5-week-old child crying. She soon realizes the crying is coming from the oven. Fortunately the oven was not on, and the baby was unharmed. Larry blames the incident on the sticky icky and claims that it was laced. So congrats Larry, you win... for now. That's only until someone equally as ridiculous as you comes along. Which I guess won't be too long.